Morel Fish
by Rionarch
Summary: Aizen was liked. He had friends, companions, and hobbies. Tormenting Shinji was just something they enjoyed. Hiyori, Aizen friendship


"May we all settle down… please the meeting has to start." Sasakibe just looked at the small crowd in front of him, which was supposed to be the Vice Captains of the Seireitei, however retarded they might have been. They were even short a good few members due to the recent hollow attacks and random deaths that occur even amongst the strongest of the strong. Looking over to his only help, Sousuke Aizen just shrugged his shoulders and smiled with sympathy. Curiously though, he tapped the shoulder of the small girl next to him and whispered something in her ear.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL YOU PISSANTS!" The group went silent and Sasakibe could _finally _get on with the meeting and attend to his tea party. Only Aizen and Sarugaki were whispering to each other. It was nice to see that friendships could exist even in the upper ranks of the shinigami. He really couldn't think of a better one than Sarugaki and Aizen's, even if they did spend most of the time causing trouble.

---

"Hiyori, doesn't your Captain want you back soon?" Sousuke looked down at the girl who barely came up to his elbow and they marched off to the Captain's Office of the Fifth Division.

"Nah Captain Hikifune said this was all I had to do for today since I already pulled my missions and finished the paperwork. Pssh, some moron actually tried saying I was too young to be a good Vice Captain." She looked not to concerned but he had to ask anyway.

"What did you do then?" She laughed loudly and he found himself smiling. After what she had done to him as a "prank" for treating her like a child, he could only imagine the footprint sized bruise somewhere on the poor fools body. "Well, you're still small sized shoe aren't you?"

"Big enough to break his nose if that's what your saying. And you better be cause I'm still growing!" The office was wide open of course, it would be responsible for Hirako to actually lock it and protect their desks, but he kept his comment to himself.

"I know, the moron's forgot to lock up again, didn't he?"

"You know either of us too well then Hiyori. Maybe he'd learn his lesson someday…" It would only look bad on his part but some nice graffiti over his Captains, well anything, would brighten his day. It was a very petty and useless thought and not good at all for what his plans would someday bring.

"Hehe, want the green or red ink?" Hiyori was looking straight ahead but smirked at the blank walls in front of her.

"You know I can't join you," she pouted and he finished, ",but the picture he was given by the woman in the 4th division is in the top drawer and it's combination is 3-3-1."

"Nice to now that you stand on the moral high ground- WHAT IS THIS? Who is their right mind would send Shinji a picture of themselves naked?!" Hiyori ripped the picture into tiny bits, before dumping each of the pieces in the ink well before a wicked grin came.

"Hey, shouldn't Shinji send her a thank you note?" Sousuke felt his lips twitch and start the letter. After all, he'd filled out his captain's paperwork enough to mimic his writing.

"Serves that moron right." Hiyori continued pilfering his desk.

---

Flowers were blooming, the sun was warm, and there was that lovey dovey feeling in the air cause the Thirteenth Division Vice Captain was getting married. It made Hiyori sick. The Vice Captains were seated at a table next to the Captains, and then a few smaller tables for the families and guests of the union. Unfortunately they had Mashiro.

"Oh isn't it so awesome! I want someone to marry me and whisk me off of my feet!" Mashiro had bubbled that along with other nonsenses all throughout the reception dinner.

"You keep eating those appetizers and no one's going to be able to whisk you anywhere, fat ass." Mashiro pouted and smack Captain Muguruma but brightened immediately.

"AH! For that you have to dance with me now!" The captain got a constipated look on his face as he tried to worm his way out of it. His Vice Captain wasn't having any of that.

"Tch. Aren't you going to leave too Lisa? Lisa?" Hiyori looked around for the woman who had been next to her all night, only to find her being flung around and bent into shapes by her Captain Kyouraku.

"What's he doing to her!" The moron decided to talk to her then.

"It's called dancing. People dance like that with woman their attracted to," He paused for a minute to rub his chin, getting thoughtful expression on his face. "But then again seeing as how you'll never be a beautiful woman you don't have to worry about that."

"ARGH!" A hand grabbed her by the back of the all too girly kimono- Captain Hikifune picked it out for her, which was the only reason she was wearing it- and stopped her from leaping at the asshole she sometimes called friend.

"Hiyori you shouldn't make a scene at Shiba's wedding. Captain that was completely uncalled for and you know it." Sousuke kept his hand on her shoulder to make sure she didn't lunge at the fruitcake in front of her. He snorted and turned away with his creepy blonde hair twirling with him.

"Oh yes, you two make a great duo. One's never going to grow up and the other's never going to lose his virginity. C'mon Hiyori I'll show ya how you're supposed to dance." Shinji grabbed her hand, despite the cursing and danced a few songs with her the rest of the night. Recently Shinji had been doing whatever he could to get her away from Aizen. Sure he was a stick in the mud sometimes but there wasn't anything _wrong_ with him, other then maybe being Shinji's Vice Captain.

Even with the distraction of a few dances Hiyori found herself back the table next to Aizen. They had a give and take relationship for these things; Sousuke would keep her company and she would scare off all the twits trying to get him. And there were plenty of them. Personally he was just too dull for her tastes but a good friend none the less.

"This is so stupid. Who cares enough about weddings? It's hard enough keeping families together as it is why add more difficulty to it. I mean what if he outlives her, Does he spend the rest of his _very_ long life mourning? Or does he move on and make this," here she flailed around at all the decorations and drunk party goers, " cheap and unnecessary?"

"I see your point but its less about lifetime commitment and more about grand romantic gestures. Not many pregnancies happen here so this is the closest we have to celebrating new life, even if its just with one other person."

"Che. And are you going to be looking for that 'new life' soon?" Hiyori smirked when Aizen let his mask of neutrality drop and cringe at the thought.

"No, but aren't girls supposed to look forward to their happy day?"

"Eh maybe. If I ever get married it won't be in some stupid room that looks like flowers were puked up." This was all completely unnecessary to her. She did want to get married someday but she wasn't telling Sousuke that. Who knows what he'd do.

Probably put up a want ad for her just to watch the parade of men get their asses kicked.

"I can only hope that the fortunate young man knows what he's getting into."

"and I can give all those girls you're office hours and home address."

"Point taken, Hiyori-chan. How about we go watch the drunkards fall?"

"Sounds like a plan. Shinji's probably soused by now so we'd better get the camera." truth be told Hiyori did want to get married someday but being surrounded by jerks all the time and stupid old men didn't do _anything_ for her. Blegh.

---

Sousuke felt a boredom that he shouldn't have felt. His paperwork was done, Hirako had his paperwork done, and there were only so many drills you could do with the unranked masses before that too becomes tiresome.

"Oi! Is Shinji any where around here?" The doors opened with a kick of dust and Hiyori swaggered into the room. Sousuke couldn't even bring himself to fix the piles of paperwork she had blown over.

"What crawled up your butt and died."

"I…don't think I've ever been this bored my entire life." It was true, to an extent. He'd started his influence in Hueco Mundo a few years back and it was slowly building itself into a great reputation but he couldn't disappear off into the hollow desert every time he needed something to do. Most of the time he didn't even have to worry about it, but it was quite bothersome.

"What are you doing?" Idly he'd been dragging the brush across the paper and doodling his name like some first year student at the academy. Sousuke sighed and leaned back against the chair.

"I have no idea. Just some calligraphy."

"Yeah, but how'd you do it so pretty! Mine looks like chicken scratch." Hiyori took the brush out of his hand and started writing her name next to his. The difference was highly visible. Hiyori's blurred in some spots and look like she had never taken the time to do anything artfully.

"Here, take the brush and remember to do nice long stroke when needed. Try it bigger to get the words perfect." They might have gone through several reels of paper, but then again the Court Guard was probably happy that they were venting their boredom into something less destructive than calligraphy.

By the end of the afternoon she had a halfway decent scrawl. Not much else.

"Yo, you're good at this."

"At what? Bribing ink and paper out of the 9th division?" It was true. The 18th seat in charge of the materials that day barely got her name out without stuttering or blushing.

"Teaching people. Do it at the academy sometime if your that bored. They're always begging Hikufune to do some extra classes there." It was an idea.

"That…actually sounds perfect Hiyori."

"Oi! WHY DO YOU SOUND SO STUNEED HUH?! Argh. You've been spending too much time with Shinji." He cringed and she won that battle.

---

The door was wide open when Aizen came in that morning, but the lights were off. He wondered if it was just Shinji being forgetful again but instead it was Hiyori, curled up in a little ball in the corner.

"…Vice Captain Sargaki?" There was a sniffle and she looked up at him.

"Hikifune's leaving. She's retiring and already said I won't be able to visit her." Ah. Hiyori was one of the countless Rukongai orphans that found their place in the Shinigami Corps. Hikifune, and Shinji (when he admits it), were the closest thing the girl had to family.

"Ah." It might have been part of his cover to offer help but there was nothing he could do as a friend for this. Except maybe…

"Why don't' you give her something then? Like a pet so she won't forget you." These circumstances were strange. Captains had never retired as far as he was aware and shinigami were certainly allowed to keep in contact with other enlisted.

"Really? Lets go then!" Without his permission she dragged him out of the office and into the districts, searching for a pet. Fourteen hours later, three vendors, and a lunch, they had made it back in time to see the Captain off.

"An' just where have you two been? Sousuke, I'm telling you if you really want to get laid that badly they're better chicks then her. Oh. Is she blackmailing you?"

"SHUT UP!" She kicked him across the face, dropping the bag with a tiny goldfish they'd hunted all day for.

"What's this Aizen?" Ukitake had picked it up and held it in front of him.

"Oh, it's the goldfish Sarugaki wishes to give to Hikifune." She was still hitting his Captain's face into the ground, Rose and Love trying to get her off of him.

"You're aware that it's dead." Sousuke blinked and Hiyori stopped the fight and proceeded to let out a long wail.

"This sucks."

---

"Ah, Hiyori, it's been a while." Hiyori hadn't been around even a forth of what she used to be. It was good for him of course, since she might have some of the discreptinices between him and his stand in. Still the visit was being appreciated.

"Yeah, yeah, I've been busy with Kisuke and Mayuri. Need to make sure moron doesn't try to give away my position to the weirdo. Look's like you've got a kid?" She jerked her head to Gin who was standing calmly in the corner, looking very interested on the conversation.

"Busy?"

"Yeah with all those people disappearing Kisuke's trying to get something done. He's working on something really important- he won't even let Mayuri know about it." He'd admit it. He was getting a little ticked off. He'd been planning his take over for years. Sure she wasn't supposed to know about it, but it was very irritating hearing his _friend_ openly praise a moron that couldn't plan his way out of a chess game.

"Yes, this is Ichimaru Gin our third seat. Surely Shinji has told you about him?"

"Nah. Like you said I haven't been around for a while. I've got to go finish something off. I'll try seeing you guys later." The door shut again and Sousuke wondered why she even bothered visiting. There were people around him that he kept as an act, but Hiyori genuinely was his friend. She didn't admire him in the least bit.

"Ah, Aizen, who was that?" Sousuke smiled at the boy.

"No one we need to worry about terribly."

---

"…Hollow transformation…!? What's…that…?" She heard Shinji mutter that out as the bone material crawled all over her face.

"You have no need to know." No That wasn't Sousuke?! Why wasn't he helping them?! Shinji screamed again and she started getting up.

"…Shi…Shin…ji…?" Was he okay? He was still screaming like that voice in her head. It felt like she was being torn apart from the inside, like the one time she accidentally drank acid in the lab.

"Kaname."

"Right." The bastard that crept up on them ran towards her and she felt him cut through her before she could even lift her sword.

Her friend wouldn't do this to them, right?!

---

"See that crazy girl on the screen?"

"Shut the fuck up Shinji." Urahara had sent them a tape of Yamamoto's debriefing of Hitsugaya about the Aizen situation- including this chick Hinamori.

"Bet she thought Aizen was her friend too."

"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She was still bitter. Sousuke, no Aizen, was one of her best friends and that fucker tried to kill them all. Only they got worse.

"I tried warning you."

"Get out Shinji. Oi! Ichigo, get your ass over here, I need to beat something and your wimpass can't do anything. Bitch- still doing the dishes."

---

"Aizen, I've got a question for ya." He was watching the fight the vizards were putting up for the Espada he had with him. Gin obviously felt the need to say something.

"How come when little Momo came here you said not to worry, but now that all ya old friends are here ya not sayin' anything? Don't we need at worry about them too?"

Hiyori should have died that night. He honestly had tried to have Kaname kill him, but like people said, you have to do everything yourself.

"Not to worry Gin. I'll take care of it, don't I always?" Over the fighting he could here Hitsugaya and Hiyori screaming at each other- having arguments that they used to have. She really shouldn't have been there that night. If Urahara hadn't sent her, she'd still be telling him to die. But she wouldn't have that for death warrant on her.

"You should be happy Gin. Everything about to get amusing for you, isn't' it? Go an enjoy yourself."

---

Sasakibe just looked at the small crowd in front of him, which was supposed to be the Shinigami of the Seireitei and outlaws, however dedicated they might have been. Looking over to their enemy, Sousuke Aizen just shrugged his shoulders and smiled with sympathy. It was all so obviously fake, now.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL YOU PISSANT!" It was nice to see that camaraderie could exist even in the upper ranks of the shinigami and vagrants. He really could think of a better situation. He really couldn't think of a better friendship than Sarugaki's and Aizen's, unfortunately.


End file.
